It Takes a Woman
by Pikeru's Angel
Summary: McCoy had never met her, nor did he have any intention of meeting her. Unfortunately, Jim liked setting up his mutual friends on blind dates... Warning! fem!Scotty/Bones!
1. It All Started When

**A/N: I would like to thank my beta, Moonrose91 for helping me out with this. Whoo hoo****!  
Warning! this is a genderbend fic, so Scotty is a GIRL. If you have a problem with this, don't read!**

{][][}

Leonard McCoy had never met the Chief Engineer aboard the _Enterprise._ He knew whatever Jim told him. That could basically be boiled down to "Oh my God she's hot! Not to mention a freaking miracle worker with those engines…"

He just never assumed she would look quite like that.

Monta Scott came into Sickbay with a dark red spread across her cheeks and a fellow Engineer slumped against her shoulder. The man was a good two feet taller than her and clearly larger than her thin frame and the girl was having a hard time staying upright. McCoy immediately went over to the young woman, helping her carry the giant to a biobed. He seemed fine, for all intense and purposes. The only thing that seemed wrong was that he was barely staying conscious.

"Would you mind tellin' me what happened Miss Scott?" He asked, waving the tricorder over the red shirts body.

The Engineer sat down at the biobed, fiddling with her hands nervously. "It's jus' Scotty to ma friends, Doc. No Miss needed. Actually, there's a funny story behind-" A pause. "Sorry, Ah'm ramblin'. Anyway, Keenser was climbin' on somethin' or other an tha' somethin' broke. Ah was right under, tryin' ta get him ta get down. Lieutenant Noteboom here decided ta play hero." She laughed, the sound light and airy. "Ah've faired worse, there was really no need." McCoy blinked.

"M- Scotty, Lieutenant Noteboom is likely suffering a severe concussion from whatever fell. With your bone structure it would likely have broken your neck."

Scotty shrugged. "Like ah said, Ah've had worse. There used to be this forest out by ma house as a kid. Me and ma brothers used to go out and climb these huge trees… What can ye do for Noteboom right now?"

"All we can do is wait for him to wake up and give him some pain meds. I'll go relay this to the Captain." The Scot nodded, running a hand through her cropped auburn hair.

McCoy tried not to think about it.

{][][}

"So you met Scotty?" Kirk asked after Bones explained the issue of the Lieutenant needing a few days of sick leave.

"You didn't hear I word I just said did you?" The doctor said, clearly irritated.

Kirk just grinned. "I did, I'm just focusing on this specific topic. Did you talk to her at all? And I mean about something other than Noteboom's injuries." McCoy shrugged.

"Two seconds, max." Then that grin spreads across Kirk's face. That "You're not going to like what I say next, but I sure as hell will" grin.

Damnit.

"You busy tonight, Bonesy?"

Right then Bones knew where this was going. He and Kirk had had the same conversation hundreds of times -mostly in the Academy days- and he wasn't going through with it again. Yes, he was in his early thirties and wasn't even considering someone to ask out, but he didn't need the help!

"No way in Hell, Jim. Never again." The older man glared. "Not after the Uhura incident."

Jim scoffed. "I still have no idea how that happened. Seriously though Bones, give me one more shot! You'll like her!"

McCoy just glared. Jim's version of "like" was severely different from his own. The Kirk version was "she's hot and smart". The McCoy version, however, meant "she's smart and has a good personality". Big difference.

"Define "like" for me Jim. Not your definition, but define it in a way that I get."

"She's got a minor in xeno-physiology and a major in relative physics, she's good with her hands and I'd trust her to get me out of most of the situations we come across." A pause. "And she's smokin' hot. Best sense of humor, even better taste in alcohol." He gave his friend a pleading look. "For me?" McCoy just twitched.

"Fine. Never again though."


	2. The Green Stuff

Begrudgingly and with much complaint to a nonexistent Jim, McCoy got ready for his blind date. It was far from the first time, and he, quite frankly, stopped putting in the effort. All he really did now was shave and throw on jeans and a t-shirt. Kirk would get on him about it, of course, but Bones had stopped listening to him after date two back at the Academy.

As he walked through the halls of the _Enterprise_ he couldn't help but think letting Jim set him up again was a bad idea. Unfortunately, it was too late for second thoughts. The poor girl was probably already there, waiting for her date to come sweep her off her feet.

Well, to the very least she'd be surprised.

So, without even passing Jim (thank God), he went into the observation deck. He may as well get it over with.

All he saw when he walked in was her head. She was sitting down on the couch, facing the giant window that faced out into the cold blackness of space. Her head tilted to one side, a contented sigh filling the silent room. She must have loved her job, being able to see that every day.

"I assume you're who Jim set me up with." Not exactly elegant, but there was no point covering his personality. She was going to find out anyway.

"Doctor?" Said the Scottish girl sitting on the couch, turning around to face him. "Doctor! Good ta see ya! So you're the friend Jim set me up with." McCoy blinked.

"Scotty?" He asked, surprised. "_That_ Scotty? You have a minor in xeno-physiology?" She shrugged from her seat.

"Ah though' it would be best to be well rounded, ye know?" A pause. "Ye have a minor in Astro-physics?"

"That it a dead lie that Jim said to get you to go out with me." He said bluntly. She nodded, standing up.

There was a slight pause in the conversation as the two looked each other over; like they were sizing up an opponent. Scotty apparently got what she wanted, because she quickly sat down again.

"So," she said, pursing her lips slightly. "Wanna go back ta my room, have a few drinks and tell Jim tomorrow that we despised each other?" McCoy waved off the idea.

"He'll just get more determined. We could fake it." He suggested.

Scotty just laughed. "No way in bloody hell he'll believe tha'!"

"Get to know each other better but not dating?"

"Sounds good. Ta my room then?"

"What kind of drinks?"

"Scotch whisky, bourbon, Saurian Brandy an'… something' that's green, Ah'm no' quite sure what it is."

"Sounds good.

{][][}

McCoy shouldn't have agreed to the drinks. Scotty could hold her liquor, but because of her near-unhealthy weight she got drunk much quicker than most.

Two shot of scotch, half a shot of Saurian Brandy, and one of the green stuff, to be precise.

And she kept going.

Bones knew his limits for drinking. One shot of Saurian Brandy or a bit of bourbon for tipsy, around three or four shots mixed of both for moderate drunk, and around six or more for full on. He had yet to reach passing out drunk, mostly because he respected his bodies limits for alcohol. Even after the divorce, he had only had about half a bottle of whisky. Scotty, however, didn't seem to know where to quit. She enjoyed her drinks and simply chose not to stop.

She was really starting to ramble by the time she had another shot of the green stuff and tried it out combined with the bourbon. At that point McCoy just took the stuff away.

Unlike a good portion of the people McCoy had met, Scotty was a fun drunk. Jim was fun tipsy, true, but once her got _drunk_ - well, that was some seriously deep water that most should not tread. Scotty just talked, and flirted and tried to drink some more.

"Doc, Ah think Ah migh' a wee bi' drunk. Agree?" She questioned, using the doctor for stability even though she was sitting down.

"Agree. You need to go down to Sickbay?' She laughed, pushing off of him (though in her mind she was pushing _him_ off) and thumping on the bed.

"Ah've been much more dunk than this. Ye should 'ave seen me at ma older brother's reception." McCoy glared mildly.

"That's not what I asked." He said, already throwing the younger woman's arm over his shoulder. She was light, which didn't at all surprise McCoy. Probably just over a hundred pounds. He'd have to talk about that with her later.

She protested loudly, trying and failing to get out of the doctor's grasp. "I though' Ah said I dinnae need ta go ta Sickbay!" She whined, though did nothing as she was dragged through the halls. No one even gave them a second glance.

{][][}

Jim was there.

It didn't surprise McCoy at all. Jim was usually waiting in Sickbay -commonly in McCoy's office- after a date. He even had the courtesy to have the Kentucky bourbon out this time.

McCoy gave him a mock salute as he entered, sitting behind the desk. "Before you ask, it went well, but we have no plans of dating. Oh, and she's passed out on a biobed right now." Kirk raised an eyebrow, his expression almost comical. Well, not almost, McCoy was just in a bad mood.

"She got drunk, didn't she?" The older man nodded. "The green stuff or the Romulan ale?"

"What?"

Jim sighed. "Which did she have first, the green stuff or the Romulan ale?"

"The green stuff… How the hell did she get Romulan ale?" Silence filled the air, and suddenly Bones wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Her brother. All I'm gonna say."

Bones _really_ didn't want to know.

{][][}

Scotty had had hangovers before. More times than she could count, really, but Saurian Brandy hangovers really were the worst of all time. Her head ached and thrummed to the rhythm of her heart. And God did it freaking _hurt_.

She tried to get her barring, really she did, but her brain and body didn't seem to want to function together. D'Arvit to that! She thought rebelliously, and opened her eyes. Which, as it turned out, wasn't a good idea because she threw up on the pristine white sheets she was lying on. At least that gave her a location. If the sheets were white and not at all stained, she must have been in Sickbay. Again. Double D'Arvit.

If the universe took mercy on her Doctor M'Benga would be on shift.

Unfortunately, she had to get bad karma _sometimes_, which often outweighed her large amount of good.

"Glad to see your amongst the living again." Came McCoy's snaky hello. The Scottish woman groaned.

"No' so loud…" She complained, flipping over the pillow on the non-puke side and placing it over her head.

"I told you not to have any more after the saurian Brandy. Hell, I took the stuff away. But no, you just chugged that green stuff instead." He paused for a moment, stealing the pillow. "If the results hadn't been so bad I would be impressed right now. Especially given your weight." She glared, and Bones just smirked in reply. Yes, he knew it was mildly offensive to comment on a woman's weight, but to the very least Scotty was on the lesser side of the scale. Not as much to worry about health-wise.

"Ah have a perfectly healthy weight, thank ye." She said, pouting.

"Yeah, you were. When you first got on the ship, and even then you were low. Your almost twenty pounds below the target weight of someone your height."

"But not to an incredibly-" She cut herself off, putting her head in her hands. "Too loud."

The doctor rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I bet." He grabbed a hypo, jabbing it into her neck. Not nearly as hard as he would with, say, Jim, but hard enough for most to complain. She just sighed.

"Did ye aim fer the pressure point?" She asked with a sigh. "'Cause tha' felt good."

"Shut up Scotty, and no drinking tonight."

The auburn haired woman gave a weak thumbs up. "Go' it." She glanced up at him, her cheeks going crimson. "Umm… I was jus' wonderin' if maybe ye wanted to… Ye know."

McCoy quirked an eyebrow in a manner that would have rivaled Spock. "No, I don't know."

"Ye play poker?"

{][][}

**A/N: Well... That was fun. Not much to add but another thanks to Moonrose for her help as a beta.**

**~Piki :B**


	3. An Oldie, but a Goodie

It was kind of a stupid question, when she thought about it. Everyone on the _Enterprise _had down time and needed something to do in that down time. There wasn't a single person that didn't play either chess or poker or both, and McCoy didn't really seem like the chess kind of guy.

Scotty also realized, soon after her first revelation, that her preposition made it sound like she wanted a second date. Which she really didn't. Yes, McCoy was a nice guy, a true Southern gentlemen, but he wasn't exactly her type. He could be a good friend, nice drinking buddy, but boyfriend? Oh hell no.

Thankfully, McCoy didn't seem to want to start a relationship with her, so everything seemed to be in safe territory. He just took the invitation for poker as a "get to know you better" sort of thing. If they were going to be acquaintances, after all…

So they met up in rec. room eight (Scotty's favorite). Since there were plenty of people who played instruments, there was always someone up on the slightly raised platform in the center of the room. Today it was a violinist, playing 20th century rock music.

Scotty smiled when she saw the doctor enter, waving him over to her table. No one was there yet.

"Whaddya think?" She asked, gesturing to the room as a whole. McCoy opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by someone cheering quite loudly by the pool tables.

He tried again.

"It's good. Like the violinist up there. What is that, Queen?"

Scotty blinked. "Na, Ah think it's more like Guns & Roses." She said, surprised. Music tastes didn't usually go back before twenty-first t the latest. She'd though she was the only oldies lover.

He paused. "Ah, Live and Let Die. I always get that mixed up with Queen if there isn't any vocals. You play anything?"

Scotty blushed, glancing to the door and hoping Sulu would walk in. "Bagpipes, mostly. Lil' bit ah harmonica tha' ma da' taught me too."

"Ah," McCoy replied. "I play acoustic guitar. Well, did. Haven't played since I was twenty."

The younger chuckled slightly. "We could start a band, get Jim in fer the piano."

"Who would be vocals though?" He questioned, not even noticing as the door finally opened and there was a pause in the violin.

"Well, Ah was thinkin'-"

"Hey! Scotty!" Came the voice a yellow-clad Lieutenant. He held what looked like a medkit in his hand, though McCoy doubted that's what it actually was. "Your early."

The Scot grinned, standing and giving the newcomer a one-armed hug. "Kevin! Your exactly on tyme, as per usual. Where's Sulu?"

Kevin scoffed. "Held up in the botany labs, _again_. Looks like it's just you, me, and your friend for blackjack." He nodded his head to McCoy, placing the "medkit" down.

"Wha'? Where's Chekov?" Scotty said, sounding disappointed.

Hazel eyes sparkled with barely contained mirth. "Chekov has a hot date with a science officer." Scotty gaped at him, and Bones watched in mild amusement as the poker chips were dolled out

"Tha's fantastic!" Scotty squeeled. "Do ye know who it is?"

"I have been sworn to secrecy." Kevin said in a mock-serious tone. "That reminds me, who's your boyfriend?"

There was a short, awkward silence that followed, and Kevin seemed to take as his time to shuffle the deck. "Dr. McCoy." Scotty said at last.

"And we're just friends." Bones added pointedly.

The game that followed soon fell into a sort of rhythm after a while. Kevin gave out the cards for each round, Scotty bet an outrageous amount of chips, and Bones beat her by one. Quite literally, in the their third round.

An hour in Scotty was nearly out and they called a game over. There were friendly goodbyes and not-so-friendly threats of the next game. By the time he left, McCoy was smiling in anticipation for next Thursday (Scotty's official/unofficial poker days).

Jim was going to have a field day when he found out.

{][][}

McCoy scowled as he entered his room. The lights were already on,, which was automatically a bad sign. Random PADDs were scattered around their desk, contrary to the original neat pile. The clothes that had been scattered about the floor had been compulsively put away, and his old sneakers were placed by the dresser. Oh, and Jim was lounging on the bed. He was perfectly lax, a book (and honest to god, paper and leather _book_) in his hands. His thin reading glasses were perched precariously on the bridge of his nose, close to slipping off. He didn't even seem to notice Bones coming in.

After a brief moment, the doctor decided to simply ignore his friend until he either talked or left. So he went about his normal routine, grabbing a pair of sweatpants and changing in the bathroom before coming back out and working on his paperwork. He had a lot to catch up on. He'd been ignoring it for the past few days, and various people throughout the ship (mainly Spock) were starting to get mildly irritated. And no, he didn't care that "irritation is an emotion, Doctor".

It took twenty whole minutes before Kirk spoke, breaking the peaceful silence that had fallen over the room. "So… How'd your second date with Scotty go?" His tone was casual, as though he were talking about something as trivial as the weather instead of his friends love life. One of the many Kirk talents, so to speak.

Bones twitched, causing the H of his middle initial to go askew. "First off, it wasn't a date. We had a poker game where she introduced me to her good friend Kevin Riley who I think is going to be asking her out very soon. Secondly, even if it isn't any of your business it did go well. The three of us talked, Scotty gossiped a bit about Chekov's new girlfriend and she rambled about Scotland." _Happy? Probably not._ He thought sarcastically.

Jim nodded, as though deeply contemplating this information as he set his copy of _Lucky Jim_* (where the hell did he find these things?) aside. "Did she talk about her family?" He asked. He seemed a bit nervous about the question, as though dreading the possible answer. McCoy, as before, didn't know and didn't want to know.

"Briefly in passing. She said something about the forest she and her brother's used to hide out in." A slight pause, and McCoy's brow creased in confusion. "Nothing current. She was really careful not to talk about anything current."

The younger man's face darkened slightly. "There's a very good reason for that, Bones. I don't even have the clearance to find out fully. All I've got is what she gives me, and she doesn't give unless she thinks your safe." An oppressive silence hovered in the air, stifling the conversation. McCoy cleared his throat awkwardly, returning to his paperwork.

"She has a family reunion coming up." Kirk said, standing up. "At her parents old place that she now owns. Ask her about it. Perfect place for a third date. " He winked, grabbing the old paperback off the bed and leaving.

It's a good idea, McCoy mused. Get to know her better, get to know her family.

With one final sign off on his PADD, he decided to ask Scotty the next day. And no, he wasn't starting to get infatuated with the woman. No, impossible…

{][][}

It wasn't a particularly bad day, just a boring one. Scotty had spent almost the whole day holed up in her office with only her tribble (Cameron, after her first dog since it was the same shade of black) and a stack of PADDs that needed to be sorted, signed and sent back to the Captain. Now, a tribble was not very good company. Neither was Keenser, for that matter, but at least he could _talk_ instead a simple trilling sound. Today, everything seemed to be drivving her up the wall too. This included Cameron's usually calming trilling. On average she would go down into the engines and work on improvements to appease her annoyance and more than mild feeling of claustrophobia. unfortunately, there were several idiot that had suddenly decided she was worth persuing. So, listening to her common sense and growling stomach and went to the mess.

So when she walked into the empty mess hall for a two hour late lunch, she was relived. There was hardly anyone there, most having already eaten, so she got the whole huge room to herself to think in _peace_.

Just as she got herself a half foot sub and finally sat down somewhere other than her damn office, the door opened with a pneumatic hiss. She sighed, hoping whoever it was they wouldn't sit by her.

Until she saw who it was.

Of course, it was Doctor McCoy. He grabbed a bowl of soup from the replicators, walking over to her. "First time out of the office?" He questioned, taking his seat.

"Aye. Makes me wanna shoot myself if I don't get out o' there. Especially considerin' Ah havn' eaten today yet." He glared at her mildly, before glancing at what she considered lunch.

"How do eat like that and maintain a weight of one-ten?" He said incredulously. A shrug was his only answer.

"I never did gain weight easy. Neither did ma mum." A companionable silence fell over the two, filled only by the occasional slurp from McCoy. It was rather nice. She didn't enjoy silence when there was another person in the room often, but this… good. Very good, actually. Nice, casual, and not at all awkward like with some of her other guy (and occasionally, girl) friends.

There was something off though. Like the good doctor was planning something. How to get her to eat more, perhaps? Or maybe figuring out a preposition to take revenge on Jim. Because really, she had no problem helping with that. At all. The lifts were easy to stop if you knew how.

"I heard you had a family reunion coming up."

Her sandwich came to a halt just before reaching her lips.

Well…

That came out of left field. Where had he heard about that?

"Jim mentioned it." He said, as though it were obvious. She blinked. Had she said that out loud?

"Yes."

"Oh." Was her _incredibly_ intelligent response. Her father would be so proud. In some section of her mind she wondered if, because she actually wanted to say that out loud, she'd only thought it. Would make sense. It would be funny if she ended up having to just think through the whole conversation because her mouth wouldn't work unless she didn't try to say something out loud.

McCoy chuckled, his voice deep and echoing. "Your rambling."

God, this was getting embarrassing.

"And just a bit awkward." He said, almost pointedly and took another spoonful of soup. "When is it?

"When is wha'?" Scotty asked, blinking.

"The Scott family reunion." He said, as though it were obvious.

She bit her lip cutely, like a nervous teenager around her crush. "It's in a week. Ah've been planning' fer about a month now. Mum an' Da' kee' buggin' 'bout how Ah need ta "introduce yer boyfriend, Monta". They clearly don' seem ta get it when Ah say Ah don' have one." Her accent steadily got thicker through the rant, and by the end McCoy barely translated with how fast she was talking.

It was a split second decision, one while he shouldn't have made while tired. "Bring me." They both froze. McCoy's spoon clattered on the table, its meager contents spilling over the smooth surface. McCoy's mind whirred, trying to figure out how to get himself out of the hole he just dug.

"I didn't mean it like that!" He blurted after a few awkward moments. "I _meant_ bring me, I'll fake being boyfriend, get your family off your back and everyone's happy!" Scotty sighed in relief.

"Oh thank God. Ah though' ye were proclaiming' yer love fer me, an tha' would've jus' made things awkward. Sounds like a plan." she grinned, going finished off her sandwich as she stood up. "Get the two weeks leave from the Cap'n and we'll be on the shuttle this tyme Monday."

As she left, hips swaying in a decidedly feminine manner McCoy had a hard time connecting with her, he couldn't help what he just got himself into. He was worse than Jim sometimes when it came to things like this.

{][][}

Of course, when Jim found out why he needed the two weeks leave he was absolutely thrilled. "So your going to the family reunion? As her boyfriend?" He was way too excited about that damning information.

Bones sighed, waiting impatiently for Kirk to sign the request. "Note your choice of words. _As_ her boyfriend. We're faking to get her family off her tail. She's twenty-nine Jim, I'm surprised she didn't ask. Her parents have probably been bugging her about this since she went into the academy." Probably before that, actually. God knew Leonard's mother had bugged him since he was eighteen, only soothed by Jocelyn. And even then, she criticized him on what he was doing wrong.

"Still, big improvement from not wanting to consider a date with her!"

"I didn't know it was her! Now could you sign the damn request, Jim?"

The younger man pouted, though started on his signature. "I'll be lost without my Bones* while you're gone." McCoy raised an eyebrow, taking back the PADD.

"Was that an incredibly poor attempt to paraphrase Sherlock Holmes?"

"Bones! You actually know something of ye olde literature?" He feigned shock, eyes wide and hand over his mouth in a fake gasp. McCoy merely rolled his eyes in response, smirking as he left.

{][][}

**A/N: Another HUGE thanks to my lovely, lovely beta Moonrose91. Without her this fic's grammar would kind of suck and typos would run rampant. XD**

***Lucky Jim, by Kingsley Amis. Piblished in 1954. Picked mostly for the title. It's a good book though!**

***Paraphrase of Sherlock Holmes' line "I am lost without my Boswell".**

**Anyway, I hope the secret Scones fans (or the people who would like Scones if either were a girl because they simply don't like slash) liked it! Please, give me your opinion on what you think. I'd love it! Reviewers get tribbles at their doorstep!**

**~Piki :B**


	4. Domesticated

Two days later, McCoy found himself on the shuttle that Scotty was piloting back to earth. From their current position it shouldn't have been more than a few hours at warp two, and he was oddly looking forward to it. Despite his aviophobia, he had at least gotten used to shuttles. There were better than transporters, after all. No scattering of atoms which -in rare cases- didn't get put together quite right.

But that wasn't why he was looking forward to the shuttle ride. He wasn't looking forward to it so he could finally finish that book Jim gave him, or so he could finally catch up on a good night's sleep, or even because of their destination. He was looking forward to that God-forsaken shuttle ride because of Scotty.

During the two days waiting to leave he had thought a lot about her. He had thought about her accent, the way she walked, her eyes… Al the things he had berated himself silently for doing with Jocelyn, and then he ended up married to her. No, he wasn't going to go down that path again. It was clear Scotty wasn't even slightly interested in him anyway, so there would be no point in asking her out on an actual date anyway. Still, that didn't mean a man couldn't think about what would never happen with a smile on his face. As long as they remained friends, just like with him and Jim, he'd be a happy man.

So he'd come to terms with the fact he was probably in love with the Scot. And hey, maybe she had a single cousin. He did need to get back into the game where he wasn't being forced to anyway.

So he walked into the shuttle with the same ratty duffle bag he went into the Starfleet with over his shoulder, a broad grin on his face. Scotty was already at her seat, programming their course into the ships computers. Which meant they were probably going to end up talking for the duration of the trip.

"A few thing ye need ta know before ye dive head-first into a Scott family reunion." Scotty said pointedly, fixing the last dial and taking a seat next to where McCoy adjusted himself. "Edward is me older brother. He's married, with one little boy named Nicholi and his wife's name is Vivian, though everyone calls her Viv. He is the oldest in the family and a bit of a dick because of it, but Ah'm no' sure he'll be there with his business.

"Second, there's me younger brother Kyle. He's twenty-four, dating a lovely lass named Jenny. He's a bit of a clown and helped Edward make my life a living hell as a kid. If ye wake up with a snake in yer pillow, ye know who did it now.

"Then there's the youngest brother, Maxwell. He just go' out of university, no' datin' anyone and he's my favorite. He's basically a little clone of me. He is twenty-two and was Da's favorite boy growin' up. He's the only one Ah let see ma hidin' place out in the forest, which Ah will show ye when we get to the house and get ourselves adjusted.

"Then there's the youngest in ma immediate family, Valarie. She was the last born so she's everyone's favorite. She never caught the engineerin' gene. You'd like her, she's in medical school. She's ten years younger than me. Why am Ah mentionin' ages? Age and marital status means rank in ma family. Ma parents -Kristine and Alvin- are at the second-to-top to my grandparents, since they've been married the longest and are each pushin' their mid-fifties. Any questions?"

McCoy blinked, staring at the auburn haired woman. "Should I have written any of this down?" He asked, and wouldn't have been surprised if the answer was yes.

Scotty laughed, green eyes sparkling in delight. "No, Ah don' expect ye to remember any of this, but it does help. Oh, and ye have to call me Monta while we're there. Ma parents are the only ones that call me tha', everyone else calls me Scotty or Airika. So either Monta or some pet name, I honestly don' care wha' it is." He tilted his head to one side before remembering her file. Airika was her middle name.

"Got it, Tiger Lilly." Bones said with a smirk, and Scotty nearly grimaced. "You said anything."

She scowled. "Good point. Anythin' specific tha' I should call ye or introduce ye as?" She questioned, and slowly went back to original spot, starting up the shuttle.

"Just Bones or Len'll be fine." He said, clutching his armrests as the shuttle took off. She nodded, and barely a minute later they were on autopilot.

She turned in her seat, lounging comfortably. "Talk or nap?" She asked.

There was a slight pause as Bones faked thinking of his options. Really, the choice was obvious. "Talk. I have a feeling any information I know about your family will help."

"Tha' it will, ma fake boyfriend. Tha' it will."

{][][}

As soon as they came up to the house McCoy could tell it had been a Scott family tradition to pass it down.

It was huge, with at least three floors. The pristine white paint was peeling, revealing and old robins egg blue. Beneath that there seemed to be another layer of white. The not-quite mansion had clearly been repainted more times than could be counted. If he had to guess he would have said the house was built in the twentieth or twenty-first century. Possibly earlier. There were two cars parked out front. And old, silver Mustang GT that was well taken care of, and a beaten up pickup truck that wouldn't have looked out of place in his hometown. In the dirt of the hood the words "to be rebuilt" could be seen.

Not surprising, really. He did wonder if the cars were Scotty's though.

"Remember when Ah said the house was mine?" She asked, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. "That's temporary. It was given to me because Edward couldnae take it at the tyme and my younger brothers were still in university so the place couldn't be kept up properly. No' tha' it is now, but I was the best choice at then. Once one o' them get married this place'll be off ma hands."

He raised an eyebrow, following his fake girlfriend. "Why can't Edward take it now?"

She scoffed, as though the idea were the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard. "This place isn't usually given to the oldest anyway, so now we're just followin' tradition." She grinned suddenly, rushing into the house. McCoy followed, slightly wary. Any place owned by Scotty probably had some sort of trap. The young woman, he'd found, was mildly paranoid.

When he walked in he immediately knew what she'd heard. The sound of the old ABBA song "Dancing Queen" rang through the halls and reverberated around the foundation. He heard Scotty squeal with delight and suddenly the music stopped.

"Chekov," he heard her say. "I was wonderin' when you'd call!"

With a contented sigh, he walked up the zigzag staircase to the third floor. Scotty had already told him where the room they were sharing was. He had protested when she first said they needed to share a bed, but her logic was sound. Her family was suppose to think they were dating. They didn't have to have sex, they just needed to sleep in the same room. The bed was a king anyway. Nothing to worry about.

Probably.

He hit the third floor, and immediately raised and eyebrow. When Scotty had said they were in the U2 room he hadn't thought she'd meant that.

Each door was painted a different color (or and assortment of colors, in one case), with a picture from a classic rock album on the door. The rest of the hall was normal and blank. It was mildly disconcerting. He pitied the person that got the Beatle's room though. Instead of an album cover it had the photo from a songbook. The "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" one. That would be fun to explain to the kids.

He quickly walked into what would be their shared room, trying to ignore the cheerily morbid song suddenly trapped in his head. Hopefully it would stop running around and around in circles before Scotty came up, because his heart really wasn't in it.

The room itself was pleasant enough, despite the color choice. It was grey and white with black accents, though it was done rather tastefully. The bed was just to the right of the door, a desk at the wall adjacent. There was only one nightstand, but that wouldn't be a problem. McCoy didn't have anything that would have been put in it anyway, and he had a small light in his bag.

He tossed said bag onto the bed, making his way for the bathroom after grabbing a pair of sweats. He needed to get out of the damn uniform.

When he finished changing he was surprised to find that Scotty was already in the room.

He was more surprised by the fact that she was half naked in just her underwear and bra.

Oh, this would be a fun two weeks indeed.

The auburn haired woman turned around, just about to slip on what looked like a summer dress when she yelped. "Doctor! How long have ye been standin' there?" Her cheeks flushed hot pink, her ears going much the same color as she used the dress to cover herself up. McCoy didn't see why she was so embarrassed, honestly. She was rather good on the eyes. Though those thought were quickly banished.

"Two seconds, three max." He said gruffly. "I'll go." And he did, headed down for the kitchen. Really, it didn't matter that he was in just his sweats without a shirt. It was just them. Unless Scotty specifically asked, this was more comfortable.

He scanned through the fridge and cupboards, finding the items he needed and more. It seemed Scotty had ordered groceries when she knew when she'd be coming back home.

He quickly went to work, getting his necessary tools. Mainly, a pan, a pot, potatoes and chicken. It seemed the girl had never had any real Southern comfort food, so tonight she'd be getting it.

There was this odd feeling he had that Scotty would make a fuss over him being in the kitchen, but he quickly decided if she did he would ignore her. He enjoyed cooking, after all, and it had been almost a year since he's last had _real,_ non-replicated comfort food.

Unfortunately, the doorbell rang then. Seeing as he was busy and had no idea who it was, McCoy called to Scotty, quickly falling into his role.

"Babe! Could you get that!" He, his voice layered with honey. Yes, he slipped into the boyfriend role rather easily.

"One minute, Len!" He heard the call back. Ah. So he'd be Len. Which meant to everyone else he's probably be either McCoy or Bones. Just like being on the _Enterprise_, only with a home cooked meal.

Scotty rushed down the stairs, and emerald green spring dress trailing behind her. McCoy listened carefully, hoping she would say who it was.

He heard the rustle of cloth and excited giggle. "Sis! You look good. Have a boyfriend your hiding somewhere behind ya?" Came the mildly Scottish accented voice.

"Actually Val, Ah do." There was an excited squeal.

"Well? Where is he? Don't tell me you left him on that ship of yours!"

"Ah don' know where he is, actually. You'd like though. Chief Medical Officer aboard the ship."

McCoy took that as his time to cut in. "I'm in the kitchen, Tiger!" He called affectionately. "Is that your sister?" He knew he'd get an earful for the nickname later, but for now he'd enjoy this.

"Ooh. Tiger. Good nickname fer ya though." Said Valarie, making her way to the kitchen with Scotty in tow. Of course they had to see the man working in the kitchen. Why wouldn't they.

The thing they saw would have been perfect blackmail material for _years_ if Jim found out.

McCoy stood in the kitchen, a red apron tied loosely around his neck but not his waist. A package of chicken (legs and breasts) lay open on the opposite side of the counter from where he was working. The sound of the knife against the cutting board filled the air as he chopped up potatoes and what looked like green beans. Yeah, Jim would have used that for years. _And to think, I never knew you were so _domesticated_ Bonesy_.

Scotty raised an eyebrow, falling into her role as well. "Wha's for dinner, babe?" She questioned, walking over and slipping her arms around his chest. Her cheeks dusted a light pink, as did McCoy's.

"Tiger, remember the last time you put your arms around me like that while I had a sharp object in my hand? Not again, hon." He laid on the Southern drawl nice and thick.

"Yeah, _hon_," Val agreed. "Not while he has a sharp object in his hand." Scotty untwined herself from her pseudo-boyfriend, taking a step back.

"It wasn' tha' bad." She muttered, huffing slightly. They'd have to invent that story later.

He set the knife down, turning to face the two and trying not to feel embarrassed about his appearance. "You must be Valarie." he said, holding out a hand. "I'm Leonard McCoy, but you can call me Bones." He really had gotten far too used to that nickname.

"As in Sawbones?" Val asked, taking the larger hand firmly in her own. "Nice. I like you, McCoy. Welcome to the Scott clan."

McCoy chuckled. "Not after Sawbones. There's actually a very funny story involving a shuttle, Starfleet Academy, and James T. Kirk for that nickname." He corrected. "And thank you for welcoming me into your clan, though I suppose I should be thanking Monta." The word slid off his tongue almost experimentally, something he hoped Valarie wouldn't notice. He couldn't help but think that Scotty's first named rolled off his tongue rather nicely.

"Ye didn't answer the first question." Scotty said one the two finished the beginning pleasantries. "Wha's for dinner?"

Bones rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Baked chicken, mashed potatoes and cooked vegetables. I had dessert planned, but since your sister is going to be on the same floor as us that kills it."

"We can move her to the second floor." Scotty said dismissively. "you'd be okay with tha', right Val?" Valarie looked mildly disgusted.

"Okay one, ew. I'm only nineteen. Two, no you are not moving me because just _knowing_ will be unsettling unless I know you don't." the two raised their hands in submission, though Bones sort of lost the effect since he was holding a knife in his right hand.

Scotty grabbed her sister's arm suddenly, taking the bag in one fowl swoop. "Come on. There's a few things Ah added to the place tha' you should see. We'll just leave Len to the cooking."

As they left McCoy could just barely hear Valarie's whispered chatter. He could just make out this words "domestic", "any good", and "he's a keeper". At least he knew he was doing a good job so far. Well, good enough to earn one Scott's approval. He didn't know about the rest.

Suddenly, just as he was sticking the chicken in the oven, the phone rang. Well, it didn't _ring_, it played music. Something McCoy was unfamiliar with and, quite honestly, would have no intentions of becoming familiar with. It had the same half-techno beat of nearly every bar he had ever gone to, and there was a reason he tried to find the ones that didn't play music. It made him want to start a barfight.

He picked up the phone as soon as he had the pan in the oven, answering with an impromptu "Yeah?".

"Sorry, is this a bad tyme?" Came the questioning voice at the other end.

Crap. It was one of Scotty's (many) relatives.

"Sorry. Makin' dinner right now. Who is this?"

"Uhh… Edward Scott. Who the hell are you?"

McCoy blinked. "Doctor Leonard McCoy. I'm dating your sister. Want me to get her for you?"

"No, no, it's fine. Jus' tell tha' I won't be able to make it, but Viv is still comin' with Nicky." A pause. "Glad ta meet ya, Doc."

_Click._

"Babe!" He called. "Edward just called. He says he can't make it but Viv is still comin'!" He could her Scotty's noise (there wasn't another word to describe it, really) of disappointment.

"Why?" Came a joined disgruntled moan. It would have been creepier if they were in exact unison.

"Didn't say."

He heard several muttered Gaelic curses, and couldn't help but wonder where they had learned Gaelic. It was a dead language, and there was no point in learning it. Unless, of course, you just wanted to confuse the hell out of someone while you talk to them. That did actually seem like a good motive.

With one final failed attempt to hear what the girls were talking about, he walked back to the kitchen. He wanted to finish up quickly.

{][][}

"You picked a real winner with this one, sis."

"Ah know! "

"Perfect to be your fake boyfriend to appease Mum and Dad."

"…Wha'?"

"I know that was your plan. How'd you rope him into it? Blackmail? Guilt trap?"

"I'm no' fakin', but hypothetically how would ye know?"

A roll of the eyes.

"Sis, unlike the rest of the family I read people, not engines. You'll fool everyone else, don't worry about that. You just aren't good enough to fool me."

"Ah know, but Ah asked how."

"You were surprised when you found out he could cook, don't deny it. If you'd been dating for more than, well, a _week _he would have made you dinner already, which shows either you just got together or you faking with a semi-friend. When you put your arms around his bare skin you both blushed. Not gonna happen with a couple. Then, to put the icing on the cake, he called you Monta. For the first time today. This means he's never called you by your first name before, makin' it awkward. That, my dear older sister, is how I knew."

"…"

"You know you love me."

"No, Ah really don'."

"Don't worry, I won't tell on ya."

"Good. 'cause tha' would mean we're both screwed. Oh, and you were wrong."

"About what?"

"He's not a semi-friend. We haven' known each other long, but he's far past semi-friend territory."

"Good ta know."

"Jus' a bit. Oh, and don' call him Len. Tha's my name fer him."

"Possessive much?"

"We established it on the shuttle ride here. He calls me Monta and his "pet name" for me, and Ah call him Len. It works."

"There does add some realism to it."

"Thank ye."

"Someone's going to find out."

"No' if we can help it."

"Which you can't."

"We can try."

"And you'll fail."

"…"

"…"

"Ah really hate ye."

"I know."

{][][}

**A/N: Wow. Not only did I post two chapters within a 24 hour period, on of them (this one) broke six pages, nearly seven, and had over three thousand words. I think that's some sort of writing record for me. o_O Weird**

**Anyway, customary thanks to Moonrose91 for her help as my beta. Not to mention help with chapter titles...**

**Review if ya like. I'd love to have some opinions on what people think. Oh, and to Anonymous, could you please sign in when you review. I usually reply and, quite frankly, it's bugging me that I can't reply to you.**

**~Piki :B**


	5. Family Gathers, Chaos Begins

By the time dinner was almost done McCoy was more than ready. He hadn't eaten all day, and the baked chicken was looking better and better as it cooked. Come to think of it, everything was looking better.

When he'd said what exactly they were having he hadn't lied per se, he simply hadn't told Scotty his whole plan. He still fully intended on making the chicken, potatoes and so on, but he'd also had another side and dessert planned. Of course he did. He wasn't trying to go all out or anything. Hell, he wasn't even trying to impress her (though if he did that was an added bonus)! He just hadn't been in the kitchen and truly allowed to _cook_ for over two years. It really was nice to get back in there. Hopefully his skills were as good as they had been before.

So he busied himself with various things. Starting on a greens salad, getting the chocolate muffins (they were the only thing that was set at the same temperature on the oven as the chicken) ready. And, as a pleasant surprise, there was a bread maker in one of the top cupboards that only took forty-five minutes. The chicken would be ready in forty-four.

McCoy put the muffins in the oven, smiling slightly. All he had to do was wait another ten minutes and everything would be perfect. Just like those beginning days with Jocelyn, when his shifts weren't as long and she got home just as he was finished. When he stopped being able to make dinner every night is around the time it all went to hell.

He ignored these thought as he set the table, calling for the gossiping sister's to come down. He would _not_ let thoughts of Jocelyn ruin this.

"Oh God, that smells good." Said Scotty, standing in the doorway of the small dining room. (There was another dining room near the back of the house, but the small one would do for right then.) "Why did' ye tell me you could cook when we were talkin' on the shuttle?"

McCoy shrugged, taking his seat. "Didn't seem important." And it really hadn't. It wasn't like he was spectacular at it. He wouldn't be the head chef at any five star restaurants any time soon. All he had under his belt was some basic Southern cooking.

"Well it smells grea'." She said, plopping into her seat as Val walked in. "Oh, an she knows. Figured it out by watchin' us, the lil' devil. She won' tell though." McCoy nodded, starting to put the food on his plate.

"Dig in."

{][][}

Scotty had never tasted something so good in her _life_.

Oh, her mother's cooking was good, but it wasn't this good. It wasn't "Holy mother of Jesus Christ" good. And she meant that literally, because that's exactly what Val had said after her first bite. And what Scotty had agreed in soon after.

The good doctor cocked his head to one side, as though confused. "What?" His tone clearly betrayed his thought process. It's not that good was well below an understatement though, and she wouldn't allow him to say it.

"This is the single best meal Ah have ever had." Scotty said, taking a bite out of her chicken. Baked to perfection, and the coating was to die for.

Val nodded heartily in agreement, swallowing her roll. "Remind me not to hire a caterer for my wedding. I'm getting you."

McCoy looked away, a bright red spreading across his hansom (_When did she start thinking of his as hansom?_) features. "It's just my mom's old recipe."

Scotty grinned. "Your mother musta been a culinary genius!" She praises, and her fake boyfriends cheeks go an even deeper shade of red, if that was even possible. "Get used ta havin' yer food fawned over. The entire family enjoys their home cooked meals." She opened her mouth, as though to keep going, when the phone suddenly goes off. This time it's smooth jazz on the saxophone, and Scotty bolts up from the table without so much as an excuse me.

"Mum!" She said jovially as she picked up the phone. "When are you and Da and everyone else comin' over?"

"_We'll be by tomorrow._" Came her mother's slightly British tinged voice over the phone. "_We would be there now with your sister but we needed to pick up your brother's dogs._"

Scotty blanched. "How many o' the beasts is he bringin'?"

"_The puggle, the blind golden retriever, and Admiral Archer's ex-prized beagle._" To the very least she sounded guilty about it.

There was a groan. "The golden _and_ Porthos? This is gonna be one helluva week."

"_You said it, hon._"

"Anyway Mum, Ah was kinda eatin' dinner when ye called. Catchin' up with Val, ye know? I'll call ye back later."

"_Mmkay. Oh, that remindes me, did you finally find a boyfriend on that ship of your? I know you said the men were idiots, but they do grow out of it… Eventually. Sometime's._"

The younger woman laughed over the phone. "You'll never guess who made dinner. Ah've gotta get back now, Mum. See ya tomorrow."

"_Wait, what's his-_"

_Click._

The good thing about older phones was that they were easier to hang up.

She walked back into the dining room, getting back into her seat smoothly. As though she hadn't stood up mid-conversation to answer the phone call from her mother only to hang up on her. No, nothing happened at all.

It would have been better if she picked up where she left off, but what she had planned on saying was a change of topic anyway.

McCoy blinked at her, mildly stunned. The same forkful of steamed vegtables was still halfway to his mouth. "You mother?" He questioned, finally resuming with his food.

"Aye. She'll be here tomorrow."

There was a brief silence before Val blinked. "You mentioned Porthos. Why did you mention Porthos?" And who wouldn't dread that answer?

"'Cause Kyle's bringin' his mutts. " There was a resounding groan from both women.

"Which bloody dogs are he bringin'?"

Scotty twitched. "Porthos, obviously, which is going to be hell on earth, the blind golden, and apparently he go' a new puggle."

"Crap."

McCoy, who was lost for the whole conversation, blinked. "Why are the dogs a bad thing?"

"Because my brother's dogs are demons, jus' like him."

And the conversation ended.

{][][}

When dinner was finished Valarie offered to clear the heaping pile of dishes. Of course, McCoy adamantly denied, saying since he made the mess he'd clean it up. In Scotty's mind this didn't make sense, but she let the Southern man do as he wished. This quality would be appreciated by the other women in her house at least. A true gentlemen was hard to come by, though her family seemed lucky in that aspect.

Scotty and Val stayed down while he cleaned up of course, bringing on odd conversations about anything to theoretical physics to annoying older siblings. Though McCoy knew little about the first topic and nothing about the second, he could hold his own. Sometime during cleaning the dishes his apron had been discarded. Val stared blantently at the muscled chest, drooling slightly. Either he didn't notice, or he took it as flattery. Scotty, however, didn't even look in his direction. Or, at least she tried. Oogling you fake boyfriend was a no-no when you were trying to avoid anything other than a purely platonic relationship.

Still, she stole a few glances. Scotty had seen him, of course. When she was holding a dress over her barely-covered body in the room, but then she'd been more focused on her own embarrassment. Now there was nothing _but_ his well-toned body and the conversation.

Needless to say, she tried to keep her attention on the conversation.

Thank goodness, it was just at the moment when she was starting to lose her self control when the doorbell rang.

All she got was an odd look from the doctor when she practically jumped out her seat, rushing for the door with a grin. She stopped suddenly, sliding back into the room.

"Put on a shirt, please." She said to McCoy, and was gone again.

When the door was open just a crack the first thing that came in were the dogs, of course. Porthos scampered in, completely ignoring the woman who accidentally got him stuck in sub-space. William lumbered in soon after, his lack of eyes (quite literally, as the old golden had had to have them removed) doing nothing to impair him. Finally, in came the puggle, sliding in at William's heels. A rather cute pup, but he'd be demonized too soon enough.

"Monta!" Kristine exclaimed at the door, hugging her daughter. "Oh, I haven't seen you in ages! Where's that boyfriend your hiding?" Her dirty blond hair fell over green eyes as she pulled back sharply. Slender face spread into a smile, she looked over at the shocked faces of her husband and son. "You two need to keep up to date!" She teased. Scotty smirked. Leave it to her mother to hold it over their heads even though she just found out too.

"Ah though' ye weren't comin' till tomorrow!" The auburn haired woman said, pulling her family through the door. "An' where's Viv and Nicky?"

Kyle rolled his eyes. "They'll be here tomorrow. We caugh' an early shuttle. Now where's this boyfriend o' yers?"

Alvin nodded in agreement with his son, shaggy red hair falling in his eyes. "Aye. We need ta meet the lad an make sure he's okay."

At that exact moment, Leonard walked down. Surprisingly, he'd changed out of the raggedy old sweats. Granted, now he was just in jeans an a stained white t-shirt (was that oil?), but it was better than the sweats and shirtless.

He nodded in apology, taking each hand firmly. "You must be Alvin and Kristine." He said to her parents. He turned to Kyle. "And I can only assume you're the devil of a brother. Monta's words, not mine." He said quickly at the younger man's offended look.

He smiled. "I'm Leonard McCoy, but everyone just calls me Bones. I'm dating Monta." Scotty blinked.

She blinked again.

That was different. From what she was used to, anyway. She didn't think McCoy could be polite. Then again, she hadn't known he could cook either. This day was just going to be full of surprises.

"How old are ye?"

"How long have ye been datin' Airika?"

"Do ye have a record?"

"Wha's yer position in Starfleet?"

The questions came quickly, and it took McCoy a moment to sort them all out properly. He'd expected the third degree - all males did it when it came to someone they were related to. What he didn't expect was the third degree directly after introductions. Usually people were more subtle about it.

"I'm thirty-one, we've been dating for almost two months, no record to speak of other than a petty theft charge when I was thirteen, and I'm the Chief Medical Officer." Scotty raised an eyebrow. "And yes, the petty theft charge was ultimately because of a dare and boredom." Scotty's eyebrow went higher. To the very least that wouldn't be suspicious. Former criminal charged weren't something that came up until the six month mark unless they were something big. Like, accidental manslaughter or something. Petty theft when you were a teenager? Frankly, the only person Scotty had met that hadn't done that was Chekov.

Kristine, deciding to give her own third degree later, walked off with Scotty falling in step behind her.

"Why don't you tell me about Bones?" The older woman suggested. "He seems nice, and a good match for you. A doctor to help when you drink in excess." Scotty groaned softly. Her mother had no problems showing her distain for that little issue. "But I want your take on him. What do you think of him? How did you meet?" And there was the psychology degree rearing its ugly head. Damnit.

Scotty sat down as they arrived in the library (well, more like pool room; the books weren't touched). How did she answer that? "Well, we first met when Ah had ta bring one of my crewmen down ta Sickbay. The idiot tried ta save me from a fallin' pipe via Keenser. The guy go' a nasty lil' concussion an Len took care of it. Then Jimmy set us up on a date with each other the next day." She could only hope McCoy stuck with the same story. "We hit it off. Went back ta my room, had a few drinks. We were an official couple the week after."

"Hmm." Kristine said after a moment. "Drinks." Another soft groan.

"_Anyway_," Scotty said pointedly. "He's a nice guy. Very, very deep rooted to the South where he grew up if ye listen to 'im long enough. Great personality, though he's usually more -eh… prickly, ye know?" She blushed, averting her gaze. "An he's no' tha' bad on the eyes either, if ye know what Ah'm sayin'. Oh, an he can cook. Fantastic, really. Ah have a feelin' he won't allow anyone else in the kitchen." They both laughed.

"Well, I'm glad you like him." Her mother said after a moment. "He seems nice. The rest of the family will love him."

Monta smirked. "Even Uncle Scotty? Ye know how hard he is ta please.."

"_Especially_ Uncle Scotty." and they smiled, and starting catching up.

{][][}

"Kyle!" Monta called, staring at what was on her bed. "Come here!"

Her younger brother stormed in, arms crossed. He looked like he was about to pout. "Wha' sis? Ah was talkin' to yer boyfriend." And god did that sound weird.

She glared, pointing at the dogs. "Ge' yer mutts offa our bed. We need ta sleep their tonight!" As though knowing what she was talking about, William raised his head, one eyebrow quirking. Porthos growled.

Kyle shrugged. "Ah don' see wha' the problem is. Will's a good dog, and Porthos can't do much harm." The elder of the two sighed, plopping down beside the golden.

"Porthos hates me. He'll be tryin' ta kill us all night! Will, Ah don' mind. Ah don' know the puggle yet, bu' at least take Porthos!" Her green eyes pleaded with him to do something nice for her this _one_ time. Begrudgingly, he agreed.

"Alright, Ah'll take Porthos…" Scotty beamed. "_If_ ye can ge' Bones ta make breakfast tomorrow. Ah wanna try his cookin'. Val couldn' shut up about it." She nodded eagerly.

"Deal."

He nodded, grabbing the beagle off the bed just as Bones walked in. He cocked his head to one side curiously, stepping to the side as Kyle walked out. "Oh, and puggles name is Bones."

That was just an odd coincidence.

McCoy paused, watching as Kyle left before shutting the door.

"Dogs came in and stole the bed?"

"Yup."

"And you had Kyle take Porthos so he doesn't kill us?"

"Yup."

"I'm makin' breakfast aren't I?"

"Aye."

He nodded, grabbing a PADD from his bag and laying down on the bed.

"Yer fine with it then?" Scotty asked, walking into the bathroom to change.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Bones called in return.

"Oh, some people jus' get picky about tha' kind of thing.

"I see."

She walked back out, thumping on the bed. Len absently pet the big dog with his foot.

"Ye planning' on reading' fer a while?" she asked, trying to be subtle. She didn't to outright say "Can you turn off the PADD so I can get some sleep?" after all.

Bones looked over to her, hazel eyes reflecting specks of green. "Just finishin' this chapter. Won't take long." And he went back to his reading. Not one minute later, he shut it down, placing it on the floor. "G'night."

Scotty smiled, turning off the light. "G'night, Len.

{][][}

**A/N: Non-beta-d. Mostly because I got impatient. XD All mistakes are my own.**

**This chapter feels... Odd, somehow. Hmm. Weird.**

**~Piki :B**


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